Paul and I just closed on our house today!! YAY!! I can honestly say that I have not been this excited since Paul proposed to me last December. It was a feeling unlike any other when we walked out holding the keys to OUR new house.
When Paul and I were looking to buy a house, plenty of people were telling me that we were crazy. Supposedly moving and planning a wedding are two of the biggest stressors in people's lives. Of course I told them that they were wrong and that I can handle it. I like to think of myself as a pretty low maintenance woman. I don't like to shop, I wear workout clothes 90% of the time, I very rarely wear makeup, I don't labor over tiny details, and I tend to just go with the flow. That's just me. So I thought that everyone was crazy when they told me that I was in over my head.
Boy was I wrong! Even with friends and family telling me that it was going to be stressful, I laughed and brushed it off, telling myself that Paul and I were different. Let me tell you folks out there that are just beginning the wedding planning process and the beginning phases of your marriage, it does get stressful. Let me explain some of the pre-marriage stressors I have witnessed so far AND ways that I have coped with it so that hopefully, if you do come across these stressors, you can handle them like a champ.
1. Moving / Buying a Home
Many couples decide to purchase a home before they get married. This makes a lot of sense, especially if you aren't living together before you are married. I am sure many of you have heard the horror stories of purchasing a home. There is a lot involved in the process. Some words of wisdom to relieve any buying/ moving stress is to:
1. Find a good realtor! This really makes or breaks the home buying process. Do your research! The best realtors will be found through recommendations from friends or family.
2. Don't fall in love and don't get attached to quick. Yes, this sounds like relationship advice but it is true when it comes to houses as well. A lot can fall through. I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I am being realistic.
3. Be frugal with your spending. You don't want to be in the hole when you purchase your home.
4. After you have closed and are ready to move, don't let packing stress you out. Throw away or sell things you don't use or wear. Hire movers if you don't have the muscle power to move everything yourself.
2. Trying to Please Everyone
This is the hardest part to a wedding...by far! And let me start off by saying that you WILL NOT please everyone. Nope you won't. So get that straight right now because the sooner you accept that, the less stress you will have. Unfortunately (and fortunately), I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy all the time. This is very difficult when you are planning a wedding. Most of the time (not always) the parents of the bride and groom pitch in and help pay for either the whole wedding or part of the wedding. This complicates things since you are no longer the only person contributing to the wedding. Compromise is the key here. Family must understand that it is your wedding; however, your wedding means the world to your family. Let them be a part of it.
3. Your Budget
Yes, that dreaded word. Most people have a budget but it can sometimes feel nearly impossible to stick to it. It can be done, I promise. Do your research. Ask around to different vendors and make sure that you are choosing someone that will stay in your budget. It is tough to stay within your budget, but you will be much happier when you are not starting off your marriage in debt.
4. Decision Making
Weddings (and home buying) come with a lot of decisions. Again, do your research and don't let these decisions paralyze you. You will make the right decision just don't second guess it.
In the end all that matters is that you are marrying the man or woman of your dreams. Today, I walked out that door with the keys to our new house in one hand and Paul's hand in the other and all that stress that I had before meant nothing now. I imagine that is exactly how I will feel on May 26th when I am walking down that isle to marry the man of my dreams. Nothing else will matter. On the day of your wedding you wont remember if the flowers were a little wilted or the chicken was a little burnt or your hair didn't curl just the way you wanted. You will remember the feeling you had when you married the love of your life. That is what you should think about when planning your wedding. That is what I think about whenever I start to feel a little stressed. When I think about seeing the look on Paul's face as I walk down the isle, immediately I smile and a sense of calmness rushes through me. This is how I cope with my pre-wedding stress.
Try not to stress over the little things. Enjoy this pre-wedding bliss and soak up every moment of it. It will go by way too fast.