4 Pre-Wedding Stressors

Paul and I just closed on our house today!! YAY!! I can honestly say that I have not been this excited since Paul proposed to me last December. It was a feeling unlike any other when we walked out holding the keys to OUR new house.

 

When Paul and I were looking to buy a house, plenty of people were telling me that we were crazy. Supposedly moving and planning a wedding are two of the biggest stressors in people's lives. Of course I told them that they were wrong and that I can handle it. I like to think of myself as a pretty low maintenance woman. I don't like to shop, I wear workout clothes 90% of the time, I very rarely wear makeup, I don't labor over tiny details, and I tend to just go with the flow. That's just me. So I thought that everyone was crazy when they told me that I was in over my head.

Boy was I wrong! Even with friends and family telling me that it was going to be stressful, I laughed and brushed it off, telling myself that Paul and I were different. Let me tell you folks out there that are just beginning the wedding planning process and the beginning phases of your marriage, it does get stressful. Let me explain some of the pre-marriage stressors I have witnessed so far AND ways that I have coped with it so that hopefully, if you do come across these stressors, you can handle them like a champ.

1. Moving / Buying a Home

Many couples decide to purchase a home before they get married. This makes a lot of sense, especially if you aren't living together before you are married. I am sure many of you have heard the horror stories of purchasing a home. There is a lot involved in the process. Some words of wisdom to relieve any buying/ moving stress is to:

1. Find a good realtor! This really makes or breaks the home buying process. Do your research! The best realtors will be found through recommendations from friends or family.

2. Don't fall in love and don't get attached to quick. Yes, this sounds like relationship advice but it is true when it comes to houses as well. A lot can fall through. I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I am being realistic.

3. Be frugal with your spending. You don't want to be in the hole when you purchase your home. 

4. After you have closed and are ready to move, don't let packing stress you out. Throw away or sell things you don't use or wear. Hire movers if you don't have the muscle power to move everything yourself.

2. Trying to Please Everyone

This is the hardest part to a wedding...by far! And let me start off by saying that you WILL NOT please everyone. Nope you won't. So get that straight right now because the sooner you accept that, the less stress you will have. Unfortunately (and fortunately), I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy all the time. This is very difficult when you are planning a wedding. Most of the time (not always) the parents of the bride and groom pitch in and help pay for either the whole wedding or part of the wedding. This complicates things since you are no longer the only person contributing to the wedding. Compromise is the key here. Family must understand that it is your wedding; however, your wedding means the world to your family. Let them be a part of it. 

3. Your Budget

Yes, that dreaded word. Most people have a budget but it can sometimes feel nearly impossible to stick to it. It can be done, I promise. Do your research. Ask around to different vendors and make sure that you are choosing someone that will stay in your budget. It is tough to stay within your budget, but you will be much happier when you are not starting off your marriage in debt.

4. Decision Making

Weddings (and home buying) come with a lot of decisions. Again, do your research and don't let these decisions paralyze you. You will make the right decision just don't second guess it.

 

In the end all that matters is that you are marrying the man or woman of your dreams. Today, I walked out that door with the keys to our new house in one hand and Paul's hand in the other and all that stress that I had before meant nothing now. I imagine that is exactly how I will feel on May 26th when I am walking down that isle to marry the man of my dreams. Nothing else will matter. On the day of your wedding you wont remember if the flowers were a little wilted or the chicken was a little burnt or your hair didn't curl just the way you wanted. You will remember the feeling you had when you married the love of your life. That is what you should think about when planning your wedding. That is what I think about whenever I start to feel a little stressed. When I think about seeing the look on Paul's face as I walk down the isle, immediately I smile and a sense of calmness rushes through me. This is how I cope with my pre-wedding stress.

Try not to stress over the little things. Enjoy this pre-wedding bliss and soak up every moment of it. It will go by way too fast.

 

XOXO

Lisa Catherine

Lisa@LisaCatherineCoaching.com

www.LisaCatherineCoaching.com

 

 

8 Ways to Decompress & De-Stress

Everyone gets stressed! It is just part of being human. It is the way that a person handles stress or prevents it that sets people apart from others. I am currently going through (what people tell me) are 2 of the biggest stressors in a person's life, getting married and moving. I have to say, up until recently I was telling everyone they were crazy! I was strutting around having a BLAST planning our wedding and finding a house to buy! And than it hit me...POW! All of the stress came out at once. In-law and parent problems, guest list troubles, paperwork out the wazoo for the house, the fact that a house costs LOADS of money and on and on and on. I thought my head was going to explode at one point!

That is when I had to take a step back out of my head and ask myself, "what is it about these things that are making you stressed? Can you fix it? If not, how are you going to handle it? Are these problems that huge? Or are you making them bigger than they have to be?" I remember sitting on the couch in my office just thinking about these questions over and over and finally I got up, fixed what I could about the stressors and than told myself that the other stressors are out of my control and I can't worry about them. 

There are always going to be ups and downs in life, but the key is to not let them ruin your happiness. Put those stressors into God's hands, and brush it off. Life is too short to worry about silly little things because half the time we create a bigger problem in our head than what it really is in real life! Do you agree? We have so much going on in our head that sometimes we need to take a step out of it.

Sometimes sitting in silence and breathing just doesn't work for me, I need other things to distract me and calm my brain and nerves. Here are a list of what I do to help relax my nerves when I feel like I am going to be stressed or I already am.

1. As I said earlier, breathing. Breathing is one of the best practices for stress relief. When you breathe deeply it sends a message to your brain telling it to calm down and relax.

2. Take a walk outside. Science has proven that fresh air and sunlight reduce stress and improve overall mood.

3. Craft or color. It is no coincidence that within the past few years, adult coloring books are everywhere! It can be very meditative, fun  and, somewhat, mindless. 

4. Yoga or meditation. Yoga is known to reduce stress, anxiety, lower blood pressure, lower your heart rate and much much more!

5. Clean. Cleaning can actually be a form of meditation believe it or not. Also, cleaning provides relief from clutter and, SHOCKER, clutter is very stressful.

6. Journal. Studies have shown that journalling is associated with significant decreases in stress, depression and anxiety. 

7. Listen to soothing music. Listening to music can have a relaxing effect on our mind and body, especially slow, relaxing music.

8. Light a lavender scented candle. Lavender is known for its calming and relaxing effects on the body. It has been shown that, cortisol, a stress hormone produced by the body, was shown to have a great reduction in the measured levels within 5 minutes of the patient smelling Lavender. You don't have to just light a lavender scented candle. I, also, use a lavender eye pillow and lavender linen spray for nights that I have trouble sleeping. Keeping a little jar of lavender essential oil is, also, helpful. I keep one in my purse. It helps if you are feeling tense or stressed to rub a small amount on your temples. Or put a few drops in your bath for a nice, soothing lavender bath.

 

These are just some ways that help me with stress management and relief. I hope they help! Please, feel free to share what stress relief tactics work for you! I would love to hear them! 

 

XOXO 

Lisa Catherine